.But the important thing is that in doing this I've become braver and braver, first looking for whipping scenes and spanking, - no torture, no funny leather get-ups and no weird tying-up like ropes on a sailing ship..... - just the bull-whip, the paddle, canes, riding-crops and my definite favourite, the cat o' nine tails.......and oh my god I'm all atremble still. So much so that today I ordered myself a whip by e-mail.....15 strands, leather, black and long.......they rang me up after a couple of hours to say that they didn't have that one in stock, but they had a red one, fifteen strands too with a penis for the handle.....and it'll be here tomorrow. The really good part was that I was able to discuss the comparative worth and technical details of the whips and ask concise, intelligent questions about it on the phone, - openly, happily, cheerfully.....MY MASOCHISM IS OUT OF THE CUPBOARD - the Heavens be praised !!! It'll be self-satisfaction to begin with, but still a vast. When she sent me a picture of her, WOW she was beautiful! We talked about everything. My life her life how she got Aids. How her boyfriend beat her. I know she was getting depressed. But I told her I was there for her. If ever she needed me. She told me her bf, also had the Aids virus, he told her it was because of her. She was upset. I told her. To not let him get her down. And that everything would be okay. I know she told me he cheated on her. Drunk like all get out. But she still I guess cared. She told me of wild parties she had with him. How he likes to get, I listened. It wasn’t till he beat her really bad that things got worse. She started talking about death, about quitting her medication. I told her she had better not. I for one would miss her. Let me stop right here for a second, Okay, now let’s see. We were online one night, talking and my online bf, showed up. I told him I was busy. He ask doing what? I told him I was with a friend in need. (Advice for girls: watch them.
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